Saturday, September 27, 2008


I am struggling with self-confidence at the moment, which is strange for me. I didn't even notice it until someone made a comment the other day that I seem to be "on a roll" with all these "great ideas" I've been having. And I realized at that moment that I feel exactly the opposite. I am seriously doubting these ideas and this new way of working, in which I am attempting to involve other people in my projects and placing myself within a larger context of community, instead of simply making self-portraits as I did last year. Obviously the projects are still self-portraits, but instead of focusing solely on myself I am comparing my own life to the lives of others, whom I may or may not know. But it seems to drag the process out so much longer; having to depend on other people is kind of a drag when you're trying to get things done.

What happens to an artist who runs out of ideas? I wonder about this a lot lately. Not that I think my idea ocean will ever run completely dry, but my thoughts come and go like the tides. Sometimes I feel like they go way, way out. And I start to panic, even though I know that they'll eventually creep back in. The moments between feel so long sometimes.

No comments: